Well, it's been months since I posted (which is no surprise to me as I'm not really good at keeping up with this kind of thing). But, I'm happy to report that I've continued writing at the very least. Quite honestly writing seems to be the only thing keeping me sane at this point.
Work continues to be...well, work. I don't really love what I do, hence why I've taken up trying to be an author as I may have mentioned. But, in the last few weeks it's been getting harder and harder to continue caring about what I do. Especially when it doesn't really seem like my position is necessary. I make a lot of reports on things that don't really effect the company I work for and fill a lot of requests which needed to be done yesterday. Although, I still say I'm content to be working at all, I'm pushing myself even harder to complete this book because I think it's the only way I'll actually do something worthwhile with myself.
I wonder how many people feel that way? I know it's a pretty common occurrence for people not to do exactly what they want, but what would be the exact percentage of people who really aren't doing what they want out of life? And how much happier would we all be if we could find something that we really cared about? I'm not talking about being famous or a celebrity as most people would probably love to be, but instead being a part of something that gives you some kind of purpose. And if you don't have that purpose what do you do?
I've learned from watching my mother that you don't always get the things you most want. She never really got the opportunity to find what she really wanted out of life. She was the first in our family to graduate from college (both undergrad and grad) and she went out and got a job because she's responsible and that's what you're supposed to do as an adult. Then, of course I came along and she had even less of a chance to take chances and risks because she had this little life to take care of and she was (and is) the ultimate parent. Basically, putting aside her own needs for her kid. I wonder what she might have been if she'd had more freedom (and foresight) to choose her path.
I know no one really reads this, but it's a question that's constantly filling my head these days: what can we do to make ourselves happy? I've long given up having anyone else help to get me to happiness. With every year that I remain single I'm pretty sure that my chances of finding that sappy, movie love grow less and less. So, I've prepared myself to be happy on my own. And I believe becoming an author might do that. But, what if all the fantasies dancing in my head are just that? What if my book doesn't get picked up to be published? I could self-publish, but I'd probably never be able to live off what I make, and that's really the goal. Will I continue plodding along doing jobs that allow me to live comfortably, but don't fulfill anything else in me? Or, will I take a chance on something else in an economy that is increasingly uncertain with nothing really to fall back on?
I just don't know. But, I know I'm doing something right now. And that's got to be better than nothing. Right?
Work continues to be...well, work. I don't really love what I do, hence why I've taken up trying to be an author as I may have mentioned. But, in the last few weeks it's been getting harder and harder to continue caring about what I do. Especially when it doesn't really seem like my position is necessary. I make a lot of reports on things that don't really effect the company I work for and fill a lot of requests which needed to be done yesterday. Although, I still say I'm content to be working at all, I'm pushing myself even harder to complete this book because I think it's the only way I'll actually do something worthwhile with myself.
I wonder how many people feel that way? I know it's a pretty common occurrence for people not to do exactly what they want, but what would be the exact percentage of people who really aren't doing what they want out of life? And how much happier would we all be if we could find something that we really cared about? I'm not talking about being famous or a celebrity as most people would probably love to be, but instead being a part of something that gives you some kind of purpose. And if you don't have that purpose what do you do?
I've learned from watching my mother that you don't always get the things you most want. She never really got the opportunity to find what she really wanted out of life. She was the first in our family to graduate from college (both undergrad and grad) and she went out and got a job because she's responsible and that's what you're supposed to do as an adult. Then, of course I came along and she had even less of a chance to take chances and risks because she had this little life to take care of and she was (and is) the ultimate parent. Basically, putting aside her own needs for her kid. I wonder what she might have been if she'd had more freedom (and foresight) to choose her path.
I know no one really reads this, but it's a question that's constantly filling my head these days: what can we do to make ourselves happy? I've long given up having anyone else help to get me to happiness. With every year that I remain single I'm pretty sure that my chances of finding that sappy, movie love grow less and less. So, I've prepared myself to be happy on my own. And I believe becoming an author might do that. But, what if all the fantasies dancing in my head are just that? What if my book doesn't get picked up to be published? I could self-publish, but I'd probably never be able to live off what I make, and that's really the goal. Will I continue plodding along doing jobs that allow me to live comfortably, but don't fulfill anything else in me? Or, will I take a chance on something else in an economy that is increasingly uncertain with nothing really to fall back on?
I just don't know. But, I know I'm doing something right now. And that's got to be better than nothing. Right?
