Word of the blog: Apophasis (n.) - denial of one's intention to speak of a subject that is at the same time named or insinuated, as "I shall not mention Caesar's avarice, nor his cunning, nor his morality"
"...Now I have no desire to be a backseat driver--" Apophasis, Chris thought; saying you're not going to say something in order to say it. Nixon's favorite device, and Newt Gingrich's, and Karl Rove's--fine old Republican tradition.
--John Barnes, Directive 51
Hey World,
I'm getting later and later with my posts after group, aren't I? I have no defense. I must throw myself upon the tender mercies of my readers and beg for forgiveness. That is I would if I had any readers. But, since this is me pretty much talking to the infinite abyss of the internet itself, no one was probably much on pins and needles waiting for my next post. A dark cloud with a silver lining in that there was at least no one to disappoint when I got off schedule, although the no one part of that statement stings a little.
Anyway, I've lightly revised three more chapters and am ever closer to ending my grand re-write. I'd hoped, back before I went on this binge to bring my writing up to snuff, that I'd be nearly completely finished with my book by this time. But, if I've learned nothing else from this experience, I have learned that what we expect and what actually happens is much more than a hop, skip, and a jump away. The whole of the grand canyon could fit between what I thought would be a novel I could finish in a year and the reality of what is now two years of work and still half a book to go.
Of course, I suppose that's much like anything else in life. I mean, is there anyone, of modest means and average beginnings, that doesn't have some dream of what life might be like? And, for most, does that dream not diverge ever so slightly as we grow to take on the daily trappings of of our own lives? A pretty, poetic way of saying that the things we fantasize about as children will one day be crushed under the heel of adulthood. For some, the crushing probably won't be so absolute. Hell, for some maybe there's no crushing at all and they are instead introduced to some new dream that eclipses the old one. But, as a realist I still believe that most people leave behind what they thought they knew of life when they were young and settle instead for the contentedly mundane everyday that we all know so well.
So, the real question is: in the long-run is that okay? I mean, even with my hobby of writing this book I've dreamed about how my life would change if it actually became popular. Authors are not exactly the first-tier of celebrities, but they do enjoy a certain presence within the public eye. How I would handle such a rise in my own social standing has occupied no little bit of my time. But, that doesn't mean it will happen. Should I be able to finish this book, get it edited to give it near perfect form, have it published by traditional or self route, and actually gain readers doesn't mean it will allow me to throw off the weight of my existing life in exchange for one I would find more palatable. In fact, the odds are more stacked against, than for me. And I have to think about that.
I have to have a backup plan where I get on with the ordinary. It's not a word most people probably want to be associated with. Everyone wants to feel--wants to be--special. Maybe not to the whole world, but at least to one or two other people. They want to be held up as important and necessary within their family, or social group, or workplace. They want to be anything, absolutely anything, other than ordinary. But, that's kind of what most people are. There may be a few moments in life where you have an extraordinary epiphany, but for the vast majority of us those will be far between.
I'm not sure there should be anything wrong with ordinary. To me ordinary people, like my mother and grandmother, do what needs to be done for their families, try to help others when they can, and learn to enjoy the simple things in life that can make it enjoyable. Maybe they don't have every building block that makes up true self-actualization, but they do have a sense of self that allows them to make the sacrifices of a purely selfish life in the hopes that they can have a certain degree of pride in how they live.
And, when I think about it, that's not a bad way to be.
Until next time.
"...Now I have no desire to be a backseat driver--" Apophasis, Chris thought; saying you're not going to say something in order to say it. Nixon's favorite device, and Newt Gingrich's, and Karl Rove's--fine old Republican tradition.
--John Barnes, Directive 51
Hey World,
I'm getting later and later with my posts after group, aren't I? I have no defense. I must throw myself upon the tender mercies of my readers and beg for forgiveness. That is I would if I had any readers. But, since this is me pretty much talking to the infinite abyss of the internet itself, no one was probably much on pins and needles waiting for my next post. A dark cloud with a silver lining in that there was at least no one to disappoint when I got off schedule, although the no one part of that statement stings a little.
Anyway, I've lightly revised three more chapters and am ever closer to ending my grand re-write. I'd hoped, back before I went on this binge to bring my writing up to snuff, that I'd be nearly completely finished with my book by this time. But, if I've learned nothing else from this experience, I have learned that what we expect and what actually happens is much more than a hop, skip, and a jump away. The whole of the grand canyon could fit between what I thought would be a novel I could finish in a year and the reality of what is now two years of work and still half a book to go.
Of course, I suppose that's much like anything else in life. I mean, is there anyone, of modest means and average beginnings, that doesn't have some dream of what life might be like? And, for most, does that dream not diverge ever so slightly as we grow to take on the daily trappings of of our own lives? A pretty, poetic way of saying that the things we fantasize about as children will one day be crushed under the heel of adulthood. For some, the crushing probably won't be so absolute. Hell, for some maybe there's no crushing at all and they are instead introduced to some new dream that eclipses the old one. But, as a realist I still believe that most people leave behind what they thought they knew of life when they were young and settle instead for the contentedly mundane everyday that we all know so well.
So, the real question is: in the long-run is that okay? I mean, even with my hobby of writing this book I've dreamed about how my life would change if it actually became popular. Authors are not exactly the first-tier of celebrities, but they do enjoy a certain presence within the public eye. How I would handle such a rise in my own social standing has occupied no little bit of my time. But, that doesn't mean it will happen. Should I be able to finish this book, get it edited to give it near perfect form, have it published by traditional or self route, and actually gain readers doesn't mean it will allow me to throw off the weight of my existing life in exchange for one I would find more palatable. In fact, the odds are more stacked against, than for me. And I have to think about that.
I have to have a backup plan where I get on with the ordinary. It's not a word most people probably want to be associated with. Everyone wants to feel--wants to be--special. Maybe not to the whole world, but at least to one or two other people. They want to be held up as important and necessary within their family, or social group, or workplace. They want to be anything, absolutely anything, other than ordinary. But, that's kind of what most people are. There may be a few moments in life where you have an extraordinary epiphany, but for the vast majority of us those will be far between.
I'm not sure there should be anything wrong with ordinary. To me ordinary people, like my mother and grandmother, do what needs to be done for their families, try to help others when they can, and learn to enjoy the simple things in life that can make it enjoyable. Maybe they don't have every building block that makes up true self-actualization, but they do have a sense of self that allows them to make the sacrifices of a purely selfish life in the hopes that they can have a certain degree of pride in how they live.
And, when I think about it, that's not a bad way to be.
Until next time.
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